Untangling

tangled yarn

Neon Birdsnest

This is how I’ve been feeling lately. Tangled. All mixed up. Confused. Also torn apart and depressed and unmotivated.

Why? Lots of reasons. I’m moving – the day is coming up faster and faster – yet I feel no motivation to pack my stuff. Not sure exactly why that is. Am I excited about the new place or not? Am I worried about paying the rent? Yeah, a little, but I know I can afford it so why am I so ambivalent? Why am I finding so stinking hard to pack? Maybe because I’m doing it all alone?

Like I will be pretty much everything from here on out?

That’s the reason for the depression, I know. One of the by-products of working from home is that I’m alone. I don’t go to an office, don’t interact with people. I’m here in my house with my cats – end of story. I’m turning into my mom – I no longer know how to make friends or where to do to do it.

And my best friend is leaving. The one person that I share so many likes and loves: we like (mostly) the same movies, she loves musicals, we like the same foods and we’re both willing to experiment. We love the outdoors – although is different ways, but we can relate to each others differences. We speak the same language on many different levels.

And she’s leaving the state.

And that makes me sad.

So sad…..

One thought on “Untangling

  1. I’m sorry you are feeling so sad,Jude.It makes me sad to read this.Having your friend move away is hard,but things will get better.Maybe you could join a group that share an interest.Like a book club.Or volunteer.I usher for the local theater.I meet people and get to see Broadway quality shows for free.As for packing,it can be totally overwhelming,but just start with some things you don’t use all the time and it will get easier.I’d be happy to help if I could.Take care,Jude.

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