Things that have no name

I don’t know the name of this mountain. It’s on the northern edge of Glacier National Park. It might even be in Canada. But this is my symbol for things that I don’t know. Oh, they aren’t all this grand (or this cold!), but everything is to scale. At least I’m trying to make it so…

I plan to retire next year. Right now it’s my driving force. Exciting and scary at the same time. And it will be a constant climb up this mountain – maybe even slogging through snow, I don’t know. And, for a control freak like me the not knowing is the scariest part.

Do you know how much rents are these days? Holy crap! Now I know why old people have to chose between groceries, meds and paying the rent. I worked many years for minimum wage, or sometimes holding down 2-3 part time jobs. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I really had any money to start saving and a 401k through work. I’m 64. All I’m going to have is my SS from all those low wage jobs. It’s kinda scary, man. But I just can’t face another year of work – not at a job I’m growing to hate more and more every day. The sad part is that I know why I’ve come to dislike it so much, but there’s nothing I can do. If I could find a place I loved, like I did the original company (before all the buyouts) I’d keep going. But, unfortunately most of the stuff I love are in low-wage industries (library work, crafts, photography) if you can actually work in them gainfully to begin with.

You can’t even be a librarian without a Master’s degree (man, I should have kept going on that). Good luck trying to sell any photographs in these days of the internet and iPhones. I don’t mean wedding photography or portrait work – nope. No people, please. And crafts? I’ve watched my sister go to craft shows every single weekend for over 35 years. Most of them she comes home with less than $300. That may be okay for a supplement, but not to live on. Although, I think I may have a plan to sell stuff that might work – the key is to churn stuff out fast and, as a knitter I’m just not there. Not when it takes me months to knit a simple shawl. But a couple knitting machines might be the answer to that… and a flock of pompoms…

9Terrible color in that shot… 🙂 I still have some of that yarn left, come to think of it – it’s some of my hand spun.)

So that’s where I am. With an edgy, nameless fear of the unknown and that big mountain. Hopefully there will be a trail.

And maybe snowshoes!